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Ask, Don’t Tell: The Art of Gentle Persuasion

Continuing with our five-part series Handling the Difficult Conversation with a Loved One about Facility Placement: Tips for Success, Wes Coulson offers this persuasive tip when talking with your elderly loved one.

Tip 3 – Ask, Don’t Tell: The Art of Gentle Persuasion

In this Elder Law Minute, and the third of our series, Wes Coulson shares his advice on the power gentle persuasion has by leading people in a conversation instead of just telling them what to do. This “ask, don’t tell” method helps guide people during these difficult conversations and betters your chance for a successful outcome.

Ask, Don’t Tell: The Art of Gentle Persuasion

Transcript:

Hi, I’m Wes Coulson and this is your Elder Law Minute. This is another in our series on Handling a Difficult Conversation with an Elderly Loved One about Facility Placement.

Today I want to talk about the art of gentle persuasion. I’ve been told that you’ve mastered the art of conversation when everything that comes out of your mouth is a questions rather than a statement. You persuade better if you lead someone to the right conclusion rather than just saying, “You will do this.” People don’t react well to being told what to do, especially as here where it’s something that they really aren’t looking forward to doing. So, instead of saying, “You need to go into assisted living,”  say, “Can we talk about your situation at home, do you see problems with that?” And if they don’t give you the right answer, you can kind of give leading questions. If they say, “I should be fine at home.” Then well, “Do you see problems with that?” And then:

  • “Have you considered any other alternatives?”
  • “What about Assisted Living?”
  • “What do you think would be the advantages of Assisted Living?”

And when you start getting answers that tell you the positive things that they might be open to the possibility, then you go, “You know what, I think that’s a good idea, Mom, I think we should look into that.” And again, if you can lead people to the right answer, you better your chances for success. Thanks.

Next week in our Handling the Difficult Conversation with a Loved One about Facility Placement: Tips for Success series, Wes Coulson shares another great tip with Writing Things Down Makes Remembering Easier.

For more about assisted living and nursing homes, visit:

  • The Do’s and Don’ts of assuring the best possible nursing home experience
  • Medicaid planning for someone who is already in a nursing home
  • Assisted Living Facilities

Dent-Coulson Elder Law is dedicated to providing families in the St. Louis area with their Elder Law needs. Our practice areas include Asset Preservation Planning, Veterans Benefits, Medicaid Eligibility, Alzheimer’s Planning, Special Needs Planning, Estate Planning and more. We understand the financial challenges you may face as you and your loved ones grow older. At Dent-Coulson Elder Law, our clients’ well-being is our number one priority. For immediate help, call (877)995-6876 or Contact Us and we will get in touch as soon as possible.

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O'Fallon, IL 62269
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774 Sunset Blvd Suite 200
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