Continuing with our five-part series Handling the Difficult Conversation with a Loved One about Facility Placement: Tips for Success, Wes Coulson offers this tip to help avoid a possible argument when having these conversations.
Tip 2 – Rome Wasn’t Built in a Day: Know When to Say When
In this Elder Law Minute, and the second of our series, Wes Coulson shares his advice on knowing when to say when, while having these difficult conversations with your elderly loved one. Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither does this conversation have to happen in one sitting. This practice of patience can help save the discussion from turning into an argument.
Rome Wasn’t Built in a Day: Know When to Say When
Hi, I’m Wes Coulson and this is your Elder Law Minute. This is another in our series on Handling Difficult Conversations with an Elderly Loved One about Facility Placement. One of the things I hear a lot is, “Well, I tried to have a conversation and then, you know Dad’s stubborn, and it ended up in an argument and it just didn’t go well.”
Well, here’s what you need to remember about that. Rome wasn’t built in a day and getting a successful conclusion to this discussion doesn’t have to happen in one discussion. You need to know when to say when. Don’t let it become an argument. If the conversation gets to the point where you can see that it’s headed downhill, or you can see that maybe you’re losing a little bit of control, then just pause, smile and say, “You know what, Dad, we’ve talked about this enough for today. Here, let me give you a big hug and a kiss and we can talk about it some more tomorrow.”
You know, it’s really hard to hate your daughter or son when they’ve just told you that they love you and they’ve given you a big hug or a kiss. Another thing about that is that a lot of times, seniors just need a little bit of space. They’re not arguing whether you’re right, what they’re really saying is, “You know what, I just don’t like this.” And a lot of times, if you just give them the space and then come back to them and say, “Have you had a chance to think about this some more?” You’ll find that you’ll get a different answer then you did when you were in the heat of the argument. Thanks.
Next week in our Handling the Difficult Conversation with a Loved One about Facility Placement: Tips for Success series, Wes Coulson shares another great tip with Ask, Don’t Tell: The Art of Gentle Persuasion.
For more about assisted living and nursing homes, visit:
- The Do’s and Don’ts of assuring the best possible nursing home experience
- Medicaid planning for someone who is already in a nursing home
- Assisted Living Facilities
Dent-Coulson Elder Law is dedicated to providing families in the St. Louis area with their Elder Law needs. Our practice areas include Asset Preservation Planning, Veterans Benefits, Medicaid Eligibility, Alzheimer’s Planning, Special Needs Planning, Estate Planning and more. We understand the financial challenges you may face as you and your loved ones grow older. At Dent-Coulson Elder Law, our clients’ well-being is our number one priority. For immediate help, call (877)995-6876 or Contact Us and we will get in touch as soon as possible.